Loss and Gain from my friends

I could feel my friend would like to reject the offer since she kept asking my decision. Is she waiting me to open mouth to reject? I don’t know. But I insist my though that waiting their working permit while hunting jobs. Depend on which offer me in advance. Thus, I feel I am not available to persuade her and ask her keep Positive thinking right now. I don’t want her go because of me. It will make me more burdens when we go over there. Then, I encourage her to re-think properly and convince her that I would respect her any decision although it will make me hurt. After that, I start to escape her. I didn’t find her to talk and didn’t want to listen her because I scare her answer to say “NO”.

After few days, I saw her left “hi” in Msn to me. I just ignored it. But I can sense the bad thing would be happened soon. I have to face the realistic. Yes, she told me her decision ultimately. I felt I could get ready to accept any answer from her. Yet, I get hurt and sad so much. I can’t control my tear falling down. Sorry to my friend, I cannot pretend didn’t happen anything at that moment. Of course, that is not right and wrong. That is her choice, she have her own reasons. But I also have my own emotion. Please let me go. At that moment, I really don’t want to see and listen her anymore.

There are a lot of considerations. However, I have to thanks for BOON. Due to some words from him, I have realized something and given me the courage to take the risk. I always said thanks for his scold and made up my mind. Last and no least, I still insisted to go although there are unstable political issued and my friend FKK.

Besides, I need to apologize to someone. In the whole long way, he never gives up to support me but i keep blaming him could not tell me the reasons and persuade me. Yup, he always takes it easy and thinking positive. He thought these would not happen at all whether what I worried. He only thought that I am thinking too much, worried too much. Without any reasons and solutions for my worried, I definitely could not be convinced. Anyways, i felt touch for him support all the ways.

Although i feel very hurt from my friend but i am also getting precious friendship from other friends. This is a good lesson in my life.